By Rori Raye
You’ve been dating a guy for a little bit and you two really seem to have a genuine connection and great time together… but you’re wondering about moving forward with him.
You’re thinking: ‘We are so great together, how can I get a relationship commitment from him without ruining what we’ve got?’
You don’t want to scare him off, and you don’t want to say the wrong thing.
So you think and think and think about what to say, what to do, how to handle things.
But here’s the surprising truth: it’s not about having “the talk”. Or about convincing him of anything. Instead, it’s about making him FEEL.
Specifically: A man needs to feel he can’t wait to make you his.
He needs to have the constant feeling in his GUT that he can’t stand the thought of you being with anyone else – so that he NATURALLY starts to LEAD the relationship to more and more and deeper and deeper commitment.
Rather than having “the talk” or giving him ultimatums, wouldn’t it be great if you could create that “you’re the only woman I want” feeling in him so that HE’S the one asking YOU for a commitment?
Where he just feels COMPELLED to get YOU to commit to HIM?
There IS a way to create that feeling in him – if you practice these simple steps:
When you feel anxious or worried about where your relationship is headed, it’s hard to resist wanting to know what he’s thinking.
But constantly trying to talk with him about commitment feels stressful to him and will only make him dig in his heels and retreat – EVEN if he was on the verge of committing all on his own.
So, no matter how much you’re dying to know what he’s thinking, resist the temptation to bring up this tender topic.
The more you try to make a case for how great you are as a couple, the more he feels cornered and manipulated. Your reasoning feels like criticism to him and makes him unable to share his true feelings.
That’s certainly not the vibe you want to create in a loving relationship.
A man falls in love when he feels like he can make you happy by being himself and sharing the deepest parts of who he is. By rejecting those parts, you make him feel wrong and cause him to protect his true feelings – and his heart – from connecting with yours.
When you feel good with a man, let him know! By opening up and sharing your feelings, you allow him to connect to you and the positive experience you’re sharing. It makes him feel good that he makes you feel good, and he’ll want more of that good stuff.
As you continue to lay a stronger foundation of positive feelings, it’s only natural that he will see you as a necessary and beautiful part of his life – and he’ll want to make sure you stay in it.
I know that opening up about your true feelings isn’t always easy with a man. Sometimes you really have no idea what to say – and you may even be afraid of saying the wrong thing that will push him away.
The simple place to start here is to speak using “I feel…”. This keeps it authentic to YOU and expressive of your emotions – which is the domain of the feminine. Make sure he KNOWS when you feel appreciated, admired, safe, cared-for, excited…
Sometimes when we’re so wrapped up, thinking how to get him to give us a commitment, we lose sight of expressing how we truly feel when we’re with him.
If he makes you feel especially safe to be yourself – tell him! “I am incredibly grateful for how safe you make me feel to be myself.”
If you love that he fixes things around your apartment, without you even asking… “It makes me feel so cared-for when you do these things!”
Whatever those things are that you love, make sure you share them.
Instead of trying to convince him to commit, share your dreams and what you want for your future.
For example:
“I don’t want to put pressure on the relationship. I don’t want to try to convince you, or rush you. It feels good to be with you, but I know I want to have a family someday. What do you think?”
When he sees that you’re first and foremost committed to yourself and your dreams, he will feel fired up about you. He’ll appreciate you as having high value and be “triggered” to want you all to himself!
Dating is a time for you to find out what you really want in a relationship. You can’t do this if you close yourself off to other men before you have the commitment you desire.
By meeting lots of people, you open yourself up to discovering a truly great match. You also avoid making any one man the center of your world. Remember, your first commitment is always to you!
Even if you’ve honed in on one main guy that you want that commitment from, don’t close off your other options until it’s actually happened.
As you can see, the key to making a man want you all to himself is to be the woman who loves him but doesn’t need him.
When he senses that he’s very lucky to have you, he’ll be motivated to seal the deal before another guy gets in there first.
If you’re in that never-never-limbo-land where you’re not sure where a relationship is “going,” try what I’ve outlined in this article, and let me know how it goes!
Learning to lean back and express yourself from a place of feminine power is what will make a guy go wild for you and give you that relationship commitment. In my FREE Feminine Energy Newsletter, I share everything I know to help you do this… and so much more!
You’ll also learn…
I know how much of a struggle it can be to navigate these gray areas of dating… I went through YEARS of turbulent ups and downs myself. And, I KNOW you can get that relationship commitment from your man – because I did it!
I can’t wait to hear how putting these simple steps into practice work for you!
Love,