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What Men Want In A Woman: It’s Not What You Think

Most women have been taught all the wrong ways to a man’s heart. I’m here to dispel the 4 biggest myths about what men want in a woman, and teach you the one and only thing that will really make him fall in love.

What Men Want In A Woman: It’s Not What You Think

By Rori Raye

Does the man you’re with keep telling you he’s “not sure” about what he’s feeling, or what he wants?

Do you go on dates with some guys that have real potential, only to get ghosted or even more torturous, breadcrumbed?

Are you only getting swipes from guys you have zero interest in, while all the men you’re attracted to aren’t matching with you?

Or, do you do more for your boyfriend or husband, only to get much less back in terms of how much support, attention and affection he gives you?

Why does it have to be so difficult? Why can’t you just be loving, and get the love you want?

You can! You absolutely can.

If you do a google search, trying to find out what men want in women, how to keep a good man, or how to make him commit to you, you’ll find endless advice, tips, videos and’expert’ experiences.

The thing is, it’s not about any of this.

You can try all the ways to impress him, be sexier, be more understanding, lean back, play games and let him lead… but if you aren’t doing this one simple thing, you’re gonna lose a great guy.

Trying to impress is great, but leave that for a job interview. A high-quality man does NOT want to be on a job interview for his date.

And leave the games for play time with children. A great man won’t put up with being treated like a child.

Let go of your agenda, any pretense, or any notion of how things’should’ go.

In order to make a great, high-quality man commit to you, you’ve just gotta be yourself.

Did you think you’ve already been totally yourself with your man?

I bet not… at least not fully.

There are likely some things you’ve been desperately hiding, trying to make seem ’better’ or avoiding at all costs.

Do you ever hide that you feel upset about something he did or said?

If you’re online dating, do you only try to show the most perfect, shiniest version of you – perhaps even using filters or only the most ideal lighting in your photos?

Do you try to not let him see you naked unless it’s just the right, most flattering angle of you?

Or you go along with what he wants to do all the time, but rarely-if-ever speak up about what you want to do?

Do you pretend everything’s ok when it isn’t?

Do you stuff down sadness, anger, or fear?

Do you say no when you don’t want to do something?

If you answered no to any of those questions, you are NOT, in fact, revealing all of yourself.

You are hiding, and pretending, and trying to convince him to like you. And deep down, he knows it.

There are tried and true approaches that nearly all of us women have been told “work” with men. Things like:

• Making him feel wanted and desired
• Seducing him
• Looking beautiful, dressing sexy, being physically alluring
• Making him feel cozy with candles and a grand dinner
• Being “there” for him (as in being his free therapist!)
• Buying him thoughtful gifts
• Being funny, witty, smart and interesting
• Having things “in common”
• Being available when he wants to hang out
• Doing nice things to make him feel special and wanted
• Showing him how smart and special we are

Although any of these things will certainly work to attract a man initially, and make him interested enough to get to know you better, or want to sleep with you, it will do nothing to soften a man’s heart and make him fall deeply and madly in love with you.

That’s because a man doesn’t care if you’re dressed to the hilt every time he sees you.(After all, lust is not love) In fact, he absolutely adores seeing you in your natural, relaxed “mode.”

He doesn’t care how many degrees you hold or how much you make at your job. He just wants to know that you’re happy and love your life.

He doesn’t care how many opinions you have or how many facts you can recite. He may enjoy your company if you’re a great conversationalist, but he won’t want to make you his "one and only” if this is all you have to show him.

Why? Because he’ll feel that you’re not showing him the REAL you. He’ll feel that there are parts you’re hiding from him. Even if he’s not able to articulate or express this, he FEELS it.

And the more he senses you’re not showing the full, real you, the less safe he’ll feel to commit to you long-term.

And the more he senses you aren’t showing the real you, the less likely that HE will show you who he really is.

He won’t be open and tender and vulnerable, because he needs you to take the lead.

And if you are holding back, so will he.

The way to a man’s heart is to make him feel safe enough to explore and experience his own inner feelings and emotions.

Men, especially very masculine, doing-oriented men, are not very good at accessing their feelings. That doesn’t mean they don’t have them, or that they wouldn’t want to feel something once in a while. They have them, and they desperately want to be able to feel something with you.

But if you don’t communicate to him that you know what you’re feeling or that you’re comfortable in your own, feminine skin, he won’t feel comfortable or safe opening up to you, either. And if he can’t open himself up to you, he can’t fall in love with you. It’s as simple as that.

Here’s What Makes A Man Feel Un-Safe:

• Drama
• Pretending
• Chasing
• Manipulating
• Agendas

And guess what a LOT of women do wrong? Pretending to be more’put together’ than you are. Chasing unavailable men (this makes them LESS available!). Having an unspoken agenda while dating (men can sense your desperation and neediness miles away!).

It’s easy to feel confused about what magnetic and juicy emotions are, vs what is “drama.” A man wants to know you’re angry when you’re angry and why you’re angry. He just doesn’t like it when he thinks you’re angry, but he’s not sure, because you’re trying hard to stifle it or stuff it down. That, to him, is drama.

Put another way, drama is all the chaos that happens about the anger you’re stifling, instead of just being honest and direct about how you feel.

Because let’s face it. When we are angry, it shows. We withdraw. We pout. We shut doors a little heavier. We make passive aggressive comments. We aren’t as loving.

We act out, and he doesn’t know why. He just knows he feels bad being with us.

There are 4 major myths that women have been fed in modern society that have done us, and the men we desire to be with, a huge disservice. We women are told to be sexier, prettier, smarter and more understanding – and if we do these things, the men will be falling all over themselves to be with us.

But it’s just not the full truth.

While it is true that men experience intimacy through sex, and they value beauty, intelligence and a caring heart… if we’re’doing’ all of these things at the cost of being our real authentic selves, men won’t feel safe to be themselves with us either.

So let’s dive into busting these myths!

So if it’s not about being the best in bed he’s ever had, being the most gorgeous woman in the room, or the smartest woman he’s met, or loving him even when it depletes us, what do you do to make him commit to you?

You gotta make him feel safe.

A high-quality man has a deep need to feel safe with his woman.

How do you do this though?

You’ve gotta start with yourself.

And you do this by getting more in touch with your own emotions and feelings.

Because, the world of emotions/feelings is the domain of the feminine (just as the world of thinking/doing is the domain of the masculine), the more comfortable you get with your own feelings, the more he will sense that he can really relax and feel safe with you.

This means getting really comfortable with loving yourself – ALL of you. Even the icky feelings you so desperately try to avoid. The anxiety, the nervousness, the anger, the sadness… The more you learn to love these parts of you, the safer he’ll feel in your company, the more likely he is to want to be with you – forever.

No more judging yourself for feeling nervous or anxious. No more shaming yourself for feeling embarrassed or sad. And no more hiding when you feel upset or angry. You’ll just be totally, 100% yourself.

You will be like a breath of fresh air to him, amidst all the women out there trying to get his attention in all the wrong ways. You will be a safe haven for him to be with. He will be comfortable being his full self too.

All it takes is a simple shift in your energy, your words and body language to completely transform the way you connect with men, and I can teach you how to do this in my free love and relationship newsletter.

Because it’s one thing to understand that men want a woman to be real, and it’s another to understand the exact things to say and do to effectively win his heart.

When you subscribe to my FREE newsletter, I’ll show you a different approach to attracting and keeping your committed man without all the gimmicks, games and pretending. Yes, you can stop sucking in your belly and breathe in a big sigh of relief!

I’ll show you how to tap into your glorious feminine energy, so you can safely express your needs and desires in a way that draws him to you like a magnet.

You’ll also learn:

• A new way of being with a man so he’ll want to be around you all the time, and will inspire him to want to caress you, pull you close and tell you he loves you
• The subtle energy shift that can make a tremendous difference in how a man starts to pursue you for a change – he’ll want all your time and attention
• A three-step formula for communicating your feelings to a man in a way that will actually make him want to come closer to you and share his own feelings – you’ll never have to walk on eggshells or hide the real you again, and he’ll fall more and more in love with you for it
• The specific words and body language that will make a man irresistibly attracted to you – and how to raise your self esteem so you feel good no matter what he does
• How to get the commitment you want without asking for it – he’ll think it’s completely his idea.

Trying to sort through all the advice out there about what men really want in order to commit isn’t necessary. I’ve gone through every issue (and more) that I’ve shared here, and I’ve coached thousands of women. This is the ONE thing I’ve landed on, over and over.

When you learn to shift your energy into being the kind of woman he feels safe with, you’ll never have to do anything else to keep him. His heart will be yours, forever.

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